I guess a warning. Another random rant about how messed up my head is.
Coping mechanisms.
Everyone has them, things that make life just that little more bearable every day. With my depression these things, no matter how weird they might sound, are a must as I wake up every day in a constant battle with myself but couple it with my personality and it can be dangerous.
I’m obsessive by nature.
Continue reading Diary #35 : What Makes me so Happy Makes me so Sad.
As someone who has spent much of their life totally miserable I feel like I am in a decent place to answer this.
Because I’m egotistical and think you should all listen to me.
Continue reading Week 41 : Can a Person be Happy if they have never experienced Sadness?
So I said in my Playlist that I’d write a little bit about what is going on so here is what is going on.
Continue reading Diary #25 : Pain, Depression and no Motivation…
There are few things harder in life than dealing with a break up, regardless of circumstances, outcomes or the person it’s with.
Unfortunately that’s what I’m currently dealing with, I was the one who instigated the split but it’s still difficult to deal with. I haven’t blogged in a while but i would like to share my experiences and I think it’s also to do with blowing off some steam but hopefully other people will take something from the experience I’m currently going through.
So this is a strange one. As you might guess I’m a little bit all over the place this week, its the last full week before my operation so depression has set in, I posted the Diary post that showed that I’d done something good to move forward with my life and regretted it every second after…
I’m just a little lost right now so I don’t think I can put into words my week.
SOOOOOOO last week I tried something different. This week I’ve just picked four songs and I’m gonna post the lyrics that speak to me without any commentary because… I physically can’t even begin to explain the pain I’m in without starting to ramble about being in love with a man who is indifferent to my existence, fearing I’m going to die on Thursday and just generally not really wanting to be alive anymore at the same time.
So I had my pre-op appointment today and some weird things happened to me and I made a big decision in my life knowing full well it is never going to be the same again after next week anyway so I’ll kind of explain as much as I can below and hope you all forgive me for being absolute shit for the next few weeks.
Continue reading Diary # 23 : A Out of the Blue and Strange update
OK its a bit of a dramatic sounding title but I couldn’t think of a better way to describe it.
After having a conversation with someone at work I finally realised one giant problem with the way people handle being told that someone they know is depressed/suicidal or suffers from life crippling anxiety.
Instead of asking you why, how its triggered or if there was something that you can pinpoint that started it (questions you might not have answers too but at least it shows they are aware its personal to you and want to understand it) they tend to, with the best intentions at heart, tell you why you shouldn’t be, that things will get better and that you don’t want to kill yourself….
Continue reading Diary #7 : Killing you with Good Intentions
