So you might have noticed we did really well for a couple weeks and then last week everything just went to pot.
As always there is a reason and hopefully as this week rolls on it’ll stop being a reason that everything is held up and just disappear from my life for good. That reason is pain and I’ll explain a little about it below.
It is a serious question I’ve had to try and figure out this week, as my depression hits harder then it has all year (I’ve probably said it before but I’ll back this up in a moment) I just find myself sitting there asking why I had to be me?
Why can’t I be someone else?
Continue reading Diary #27 : What to do when you just don’t want to be you anymore?
So I said in my Playlist that I’d write a little bit about what is going on so here is what is going on.
Continue reading Diary #25 : Pain, Depression and no Motivation…
There are few things harder in life than dealing with a break up, regardless of circumstances, outcomes or the person it’s with.
Unfortunately that’s what I’m currently dealing with, I was the one who instigated the split but it’s still difficult to deal with. I haven’t blogged in a while but i would like to share my experiences and I think it’s also to do with blowing off some steam but hopefully other people will take something from the experience I’m currently going through.
If you didn’t know I’m having a operation today. How could you not know?!
Just as I can’t go a week without crying about the same old same old I don’t think I’ve missed a beat reminding people I’m probably going to die. So I thought why not dedicate OPERATION DAY to 5 things I probably should have said to people before there was a chance that I could die.
Not that I’m going to die… I mean lets be positive about this. Hopefully. Maybe.
So this is a strange one. As you might guess I’m a little bit all over the place this week, its the last full week before my operation so depression has set in, I posted the Diary post that showed that I’d done something good to move forward with my life and regretted it every second after…
I’m just a little lost right now so I don’t think I can put into words my week.
SOOOOOOO last week I tried something different. This week I’ve just picked four songs and I’m gonna post the lyrics that speak to me without any commentary because… I physically can’t even begin to explain the pain I’m in without starting to ramble about being in love with a man who is indifferent to my existence, fearing I’m going to die on Thursday and just generally not really wanting to be alive anymore at the same time.
I currently have two broken teeth and I feel like I have the perfect answer to this.
If you like anime you might have heard of the series this Spring called Kiznaiver.
If not, the basic principal (at its basic level) is that a group of people have been forced to feel each other’s physical and (slightly spoiler-y I guess if you haven’t seen the last episode but something you should have guessed was coming) emotional pain. Its a experiment being carried out to bring, allegedly, peace to the world.
In the anime they weren’t given a choice but for this discussion you have the choice.
So, to better understand people, would YOU agree to share someone’s pain?
I will start with a question.
Is there a universe out there that you’ve read about in a book that just seems so real and alive to you that it upsets you deep inside that it isn’t real and you aren’t there? Are there characters that touch your heart so tenderly that you don’t care if people think you are stupid but as far as you are concerned you know them? You are more emotionally attached to them and their plight then you are of real life people right in front of you?
If you have I’d love to know which ones so leave me a message in the comments. If not then why not?
Let me tell you about some of mine…
Continue reading Diary #6 : Fantastical Books and the Impression they leave
