Tag Archives: My Diary

Diary #22 : Lets Talk About Wrestling Shall We?

I probably have in the past gone into depth about what Wrestling means to me but after following Mark Hainsworth on Twitter its made me think deeply once more about not only what wrestling means to me but what the community has done for me too.

Honestly would recommend a follow to Mark on Twitter as he, along with a few others, are trying to build a positive and welcoming wrestling community on Twitter.


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Diary #21 : Don’t Shoot the Messenger (or the till girl…)

I’ve never kept it a secret that I work in retail. Always have. When people know how bad my depression and anxiety are they tend to be surprised to hear it but I’m also a people person deep DEEP down and I quite like retail. It isn’t always as bad as people make it out to be.

Then again I was raised to be polite to people, to remember that everyone makes mistakes so you should be kind and having depression and anxiety means I’m fully aware that you NEVER EVER can tell how the person you are talking to feels at that moment so you treat them the way YOU want to be treated, you smile and you are just, in general, nice.

When did it stop being so easy to be nice?

Continue reading Diary #21 : Don’t Shoot the Messenger (or the till girl…)

Diary #18 : Live in the Moments…

For some people nothing is going to stop them being the happy positive wonderful humans they are. That’s all good and well for you. Today, or just recently I guess, I’m sick of people telling me that I’m too negative and that if I just Lived in the Moment I’d be much happier.

Just because it works for you it doesn’t mean its going to work with someone like me.

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Diary #14 : The Tale of the Hedgehog…

So everyone has small triggers when it comes to anxiety and one of mine is sound,

Its strange, its such a random thing you might think, but since I was a child I’ve always been scared of the strangest of sounds. I’m partially deaf but I’m actually able to HEAR a spider in my room before I see it, thunder terrifies me even though I love lightening (which is the actual dangerous part of a thunderstorm) and I hate being in public places without headphones or someone with me else I constantly believe people are talking to me, about me or laughing at me.

So let me tell you how a hedgehog last night buggered up my day today….

Continue reading Diary #14 : The Tale of the Hedgehog…

Diary #13 : Obsession…

So I have a bit of a obsessive personality. Its not something I can help, if I like something I want to know everything about it right at that moment and fill my head with it. My best work is done when I’m going through a obsessive phase with something. My many long years obsession with the racing driver Bruno Senna for example gave me many wonderful moments creating things for a fan site for him, my obsession over Domhnall Gleeson made me want to watch Star Wars a few times which led me to writing my most popular fic on Ao3 and so on and so forth.

When they are like that its fine. It makes me productive. I want to watch every single Adrien Brody film ever? I’ll go do that and write about them or get ideas from the movies of other things to write about.

When its a real life thing though…. Well that’s when I flounder.

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Diary #11 : The Question of Fitting in…

I’ve been told that no matter how comfortable you are being alone the majority of your life there will at least be one moment where you wish that you could fit in, you did fit in or you wanted to fit in.

As one of those annoying people who do and don’t everything (I do want friends, but I don’t want friends, I do want to go out with people and I don’t want to leave my house, I do want to talk to someone but I’d rather poke my eyes out then do so….) I can agree with that but I also know I’m unusual in general.

So the question becomes is it actually important to “fit in” and what does that even mean?!

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