Tag Archives: Mental Illness

Diary #15 : How not to talk to other humans….

I don’t think people get just how badly anxiety can effect you. For instance I can come across as unfriendly, anti-social or shy because my anxiety effects my speech. Similarly when I try too hard I can come across as annoying, overly sarcastic and a bit of a bitch.

There isn’t a middle ground for me because I suck so bad at communicating with other humans.

Continue reading Diary #15 : How not to talk to other humans….

Diary #14 : The Tale of the Hedgehog…

So everyone has small triggers when it comes to anxiety and one of mine is sound,

Its strange, its such a random thing you might think, but since I was a child I’ve always been scared of the strangest of sounds. I’m partially deaf but I’m actually able to HEAR a spider in my room before I see it, thunder terrifies me even though I love lightening (which is the actual dangerous part of a thunderstorm) and I hate being in public places without headphones or someone with me else I constantly believe people are talking to me, about me or laughing at me.

So let me tell you how a hedgehog last night buggered up my day today….

Continue reading Diary #14 : The Tale of the Hedgehog…

Diary #13 : Obsession…

So I have a bit of a obsessive personality. Its not something I can help, if I like something I want to know everything about it right at that moment and fill my head with it. My best work is done when I’m going through a obsessive phase with something. My many long years obsession with the racing driver Bruno Senna for example gave me many wonderful moments creating things for a fan site for him, my obsession over Domhnall Gleeson made me want to watch Star Wars a few times which led me to writing my most popular fic on Ao3 and so on and so forth.

When they are like that its fine. It makes me productive. I want to watch every single Adrien Brody film ever? I’ll go do that and write about them or get ideas from the movies of other things to write about.

When its a real life thing though…. Well that’s when I flounder.

Continue reading Diary #13 : Obsession…

Diary #10 : I don’t believe it…

It won’t surprise anyone to know I’m a introvert. I’m one of those really annoying types who wants to have loads of friends and feel involved but the second someone takes pity on me and tries to include me in anything I shy away from it because its too much.

I hate going outside, I hate having to communicate with people and I hate remembering that there is a world outside of the fantasy ones I create in my head.

With all my many problems both socially and just in general, if you come across these blogs and read about me you might think I’d be a easy introvert to pick out of a crowd. Yet the one thing I hear ALL the time is that people just don’t believe I’m a introvert.

Its bloody annoying too!

Continue reading Diary #10 : I don’t believe it…

Diary #8 : Where I am right now…

So first a update on the page.

Below I’ll explain the long and boring stuff (as it is a diary post and they are used for mental illness talk) but before that I’ll get down to it. We have EVERYTHING up to date. No really we do. Everyone has written every review they have needed too BUT its being held up, by me, in the drafts. As I have to double check spelling and tags and all that all the Yonderland, AHS, Ash vs Evil Dead and even just other misc posts have been piling up but with everyone working and me the way I am they’ve just been stuck in limbo.

THEREFORE I shall be doing my best to edit them over the weekend and get them out as best I can. I won’t have them all post to Facebook as most of the people who follow us on Facebook are there for wrestling reviews and nothing else (the Pride review will be out as I have actually written most of it, it’ll just be stupidly late as it is already.) I’ll try to spread them out over the next 7 or so days. I’ll try but be patient.

Why is it taking me so long?

Continue reading Diary #8 : Where I am right now…

The Mark that Joins Us….

If you like anime you might have heard of the series this Spring called Kiznaiver.

If not, the basic principal (at its basic level) is that a group of people have been forced to feel each other’s physical and (slightly spoiler-y I guess if you haven’t seen the last episode but something you should have guessed was coming) emotional pain. Its a experiment being carried out to bring, allegedly, peace to the world.

In the anime they weren’t given a choice but for this discussion you have the choice.

So, to better understand people, would YOU agree to share someone’s pain?

Continue reading The Mark that Joins Us….

PWA Crowdfunder Signal Boost

I know… I had a horrible self promotion blog earlier and now I’m going to do my big puppy dog eyes and try and convince you to let go of some of your money to help a great company that ya’ll know I love by now.

http://www.crowdfunder.co.uk/plymouth-wrestling/?

My local wrestling company (Plymouth Wrestling Association) need your help.

Yeah we don’t really get many wrestling fans coming through even when we’re on the ball with reviews and the like but if this can just reach out to a few people who read it and pledge a little bit it means a lot to me.

For just £10 you can help the company plus gain a great DVD for your collection (or start a wrestling DVD collection) I was there for the 7th Anniversary Show in the front row and it was a epic night. Like all Crowdfunders you put in and get something out of it. No matter where you are in the world if you like wrestling then you’ll love this show.

Headlined by TNA Champion Drew Galloway against one of the best talents in the UK, Pride of Plymouth himself the English Lion Eddie Ryan, the night was just epic.

Just look at the photos over there on the sidebar they are from the night, I haven’t finished uploading them to Instagram but it was just brilliant.

Why this means so much to me?

Just over a year ago was when I became suicidal. It was a PWA show that really helped me get through that. It was their 6th Anniversary Show (headlined by James Storm and Abyss against the UK Dominator and PJ Jones) that gave me a boost that helped me see a light through the dark times I was going through. Since October I’ve been going to PWA and Pride Promotion shows religiously, they give me a reason to want to be alive. I’ve always been a wrestling fan and these guys go above and beyond. If I had more money I’d give more (anyone that knows me knows I pledged £35 for a Eddie Ryan t-shirt, I don’t want anything else just the t-shirt!) unfortunately I only work part time so don’t have any more to give.

I’m not being over the top or anything but truthful when I say that PWA saved my life last year.

So even if you can just give a little please do. The company means a lot to me, both of them do. I’ve been able to meet some wonderful people, had so many happy moments and got to witness some of the great British talent that you might never have heard of (but for £10 right now you can add a DVD and the knowledge of their greatness to your DVD library!) but who entertain and are just too wonderful for words. I haven’t met many of the Plymouth wrestlers but the ones I have have always been wonderful and they go out of your way to make you comfortable. Even in the face of someone like me that looks like they’d throw up on you rather then talk to you. (OK the PWA guys I’ve only ever met Eddie Ryan who is a saint who puts up with me nearly crying every time I see him. Dude don’t make me get out my Eddie Ryan pictures, they are honestly like grandchild pictures now I get them out and gush about how proud I am to be his fan all the time.)

PLUSSSSSS the 20th May marks my 27th birthday! Not that it means anything to anyone but if you could make a pledge it would make me a very happy person. Nope? Not working? I’m sorry….

Regardless. Even if this can just get a few retweets or reblogs or just helps spread the word that would be great.

Thank you for your time. Go back to reading my fanfic on Ao3 enjoying your Bank Holiday Weekend.

Just for extra effect me and Swamp-a-Doodle sporting my PWA t-shirt. Loved the first one can’t wait for any and all new ones. So go spreading the word (someone… At least my two fanboys!)