There is a very good reason I’m writing this nonsense right now.
One thing I hate is napping, I have extreme time anxiety and get very anxious and depressed when I waste time during the day napping. The same happens if I wake up late. Therefore being sick is the worst thing in the world for me as all I want to do is nap and nap is all I’ve been doing.
Continue reading Diary #37 : Sickness and Sleep
So usually these posts are inspired by something that has happened to me. I like sharing the stories and how I feel because it makes me feel better when I’m down knowing others go through what I do and I’m not alone, I’m not broken because I feel this way I just have to keep fighting.
This time I guess it is and isn’t inspired by anything.
On the one hand it is something I’ve noticed in my life and on the other it is just something that popped into my head.
Being depressed doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve been through depression and depression isn’t the same as being depressed….
Continue reading Diary #29 : Depression and Depressed aren’t the same thing…
It is a serious question I’ve had to try and figure out this week, as my depression hits harder then it has all year (I’ve probably said it before but I’ll back this up in a moment) I just find myself sitting there asking why I had to be me?
Why can’t I be someone else?
Continue reading Diary #27 : What to do when you just don’t want to be you anymore?
I’ve tried to touch on the vicious circle of poor sleep, poor waking up and depression before but seeing today was such a big day for me for really random reasons I thought I’d let everyone know about why days like today are my absolutely biggest fear.
Continue reading Diary #26 : Days like today…
I probably have in the past gone into depth about what Wrestling means to me but after following Mark Hainsworth on Twitter its made me think deeply once more about not only what wrestling means to me but what the community has done for me too.
Honestly would recommend a follow to Mark on Twitter as he, along with a few others, are trying to build a positive and welcoming wrestling community on Twitter.
Continue reading Diary #22 : Lets Talk About Wrestling Shall We?
I’ve never kept it a secret that I work in retail. Always have. When people know how bad my depression and anxiety are they tend to be surprised to hear it but I’m also a people person deep DEEP down and I quite like retail. It isn’t always as bad as people make it out to be.
Then again I was raised to be polite to people, to remember that everyone makes mistakes so you should be kind and having depression and anxiety means I’m fully aware that you NEVER EVER can tell how the person you are talking to feels at that moment so you treat them the way YOU want to be treated, you smile and you are just, in general, nice.
When did it stop being so easy to be nice?
Continue reading Diary #21 : Don’t Shoot the Messenger (or the till girl…)
This isn’t like a really depressing blog post or anything I just couldn’t come up with a fancy title, which is kind of 2017 summed up.
Just going to take this moment to talk about some ups and downs of he last year and were we as a group and me personally are planning on going in 2018.
Continue reading Diary #20 : New Year, Same Old Me….
So I have a bit of a obsessive personality. Its not something I can help, if I like something I want to know everything about it right at that moment and fill my head with it. My best work is done when I’m going through a obsessive phase with something. My many long years obsession with the racing driver Bruno Senna for example gave me many wonderful moments creating things for a fan site for him, my obsession over Domhnall Gleeson made me want to watch Star Wars a few times which led me to writing my most popular fic on Ao3 and so on and so forth.
When they are like that its fine. It makes me productive. I want to watch every single Adrien Brody film ever? I’ll go do that and write about them or get ideas from the movies of other things to write about.
When its a real life thing though…. Well that’s when I flounder.
Continue reading Diary #13 : Obsession…
16th March – 22nd March
Funny thing beginnings right? I never know how to start this blog off, in fact as you can probably tell I struggle to think of how to start most blogs off, but how do you start a blog off that is completely different each week and in which I usually just go on about how depressed I am?!
So I thought so that at least the beginning of the blog is interesting I’d do some 30 day challenges… Turning them into 30 week challenges I guess. I mean who knows the blog might disappear before 30 weeks is over but never mind! If not I’ve saved a few to my computer (I know they are old news!) so that I can do some more if I finish!
Day 1 Week 1 :
Weird things you do when you’re alone…
Hmmm, I’m not sure really! I don’t do much different from when I’m alone and when I’m not alone honestly! I don’t really do weird things either, not in a big headed way but because I just don’t find anything I do particularly weird! Then again I’m a weird person. I guess I talk to myself a lot when I haven’t got other people around, I have full blown arguments with myself with one half of the argument storming out and the other sitting in my chair grumping about stuff.
That is a really boring answer I know! I’m sure it’ll pick up though.
Continue reading Week 11