This might be incomplete, this might be a big pile of crap. Truth is today is my birthday, I’ve spent most of the day out with my family and now getting ready to go out with work friends and Aaron bowling. I have a very small window to write this and its been quite the dramatic week but I just don’t have time to figure out what songs would fit it so… I’m gonna try hard. And fast. It’ll fail no doubt.
So last week of sick, back to work tomorrow. Not going to lie I’ve had another bad week as in… Nothing has really happened. Its a struggle to think of anything to write really.
So this week has been pretty hectic and just a little bit sad and scary. I’ve continued to make bad decisions, I cried a lot and I had a operation which has made it hard to hold my head up anymore.
So I kind of mentioned a few times now that I was having surgery this week to have a Branchial Cyst removed from my neck. As you can tell with me here writing this I survived with nothing major wrong with me.
I’ve decided to write a blog about it and follow ups with photos and recovery stuff because I couldn’t find much about it online at all and its bloody scary at times thinking about it. There won’t be any photos in this one so if you are squirmish you don’t have to worry.
So this is a strange one. As you might guess I’m a little bit all over the place this week, its the last full week before my operation so depression has set in, I posted the Diary post that showed that I’d done something good to move forward with my life and regretted it every second after…
I’m just a little lost right now so I don’t think I can put into words my week.
SOOOOOOO last week I tried something different. This week I’ve just picked four songs and I’m gonna post the lyrics that speak to me without any commentary because… I physically can’t even begin to explain the pain I’m in without starting to ramble about being in love with a man who is indifferent to my existence, fearing I’m going to die on Thursday and just generally not really wanting to be alive anymore at the same time.
So I had my pre-op appointment today and some weird things happened to me and I made a big decision in my life knowing full well it is never going to be the same again after next week anyway so I’ll kind of explain as much as I can below and hope you all forgive me for being absolute shit for the next few weeks.
It sounds weird to some people but there are people that are so socially awkward or anxious that they just don’t join in with group activities. They might seem perfectly normal in their job or some of their day to day lives, especially if you aren’t extremely close to them but the thought of a work night out terrifies the life out of them.
Whilst they might come across as anti-social a lot of them are absolutely dying to go out and socialize, have a “normal” life and just be like everyone else.
I was one of those people, I haven’t perfected the art of it yet, as you can tell because I keep talking about it I am getting more and more used to going out. Here is how I’ve helped myself…