So everyone has small triggers when it comes to anxiety and one of mine is sound,
Its strange, its such a random thing you might think, but since I was a child I’ve always been scared of the strangest of sounds. I’m partially deaf but I’m actually able to HEAR a spider in my room before I see it, thunder terrifies me even though I love lightening (which is the actual dangerous part of a thunderstorm) and I hate being in public places without headphones or someone with me else I constantly believe people are talking to me, about me or laughing at me.
So let me tell you how a hedgehog last night buggered up my day today….
Continue reading Diary #14 : The Tale of the Hedgehog…
So I have a bit of a obsessive personality. Its not something I can help, if I like something I want to know everything about it right at that moment and fill my head with it. My best work is done when I’m going through a obsessive phase with something. My many long years obsession with the racing driver Bruno Senna for example gave me many wonderful moments creating things for a fan site for him, my obsession over Domhnall Gleeson made me want to watch Star Wars a few times which led me to writing my most popular fic on Ao3 and so on and so forth.
When they are like that its fine. It makes me productive. I want to watch every single Adrien Brody film ever? I’ll go do that and write about them or get ideas from the movies of other things to write about.
When its a real life thing though…. Well that’s when I flounder.
Continue reading Diary #13 : Obsession…
I’ve been told that no matter how comfortable you are being alone the majority of your life there will at least be one moment where you wish that you could fit in, you did fit in or you wanted to fit in.
As one of those annoying people who do and don’t everything (I do want friends, but I don’t want friends, I do want to go out with people and I don’t want to leave my house, I do want to talk to someone but I’d rather poke my eyes out then do so….) I can agree with that but I also know I’m unusual in general.
So the question becomes is it actually important to “fit in” and what does that even mean?!
Continue reading Diary #11 : The Question of Fitting in…
So first a update on the page.
Below I’ll explain the long and boring stuff (as it is a diary post and they are used for mental illness talk) but before that I’ll get down to it. We have EVERYTHING up to date. No really we do. Everyone has written every review they have needed too BUT its being held up, by me, in the drafts. As I have to double check spelling and tags and all that all the Yonderland, AHS, Ash vs Evil Dead and even just other misc posts have been piling up but with everyone working and me the way I am they’ve just been stuck in limbo.
THEREFORE I shall be doing my best to edit them over the weekend and get them out as best I can. I won’t have them all post to Facebook as most of the people who follow us on Facebook are there for wrestling reviews and nothing else (the Pride review will be out as I have actually written most of it, it’ll just be stupidly late as it is already.) I’ll try to spread them out over the next 7 or so days. I’ll try but be patient.
Why is it taking me so long?
Continue reading Diary #8 : Where I am right now…
I will start with a question.
Is there a universe out there that you’ve read about in a book that just seems so real and alive to you that it upsets you deep inside that it isn’t real and you aren’t there? Are there characters that touch your heart so tenderly that you don’t care if people think you are stupid but as far as you are concerned you know them? You are more emotionally attached to them and their plight then you are of real life people right in front of you?
If you have I’d love to know which ones so leave me a message in the comments. If not then why not?
Let me tell you about some of mine…
Continue reading Diary #6 : Fantastical Books and the Impression they leave
With today being New Years Eve I truly hope everyone that suffers from anything horrible stays safe. Just because the world tells you something is normal doesn’t mean anything about you if you can’t do it. Don’t let anyone tell you that going out and having a kiss at midnight is the only way to celebrate the new year, whatever you do make sure you feel comfortable and safe. However you choose to, or are forced to, celebrate the new year is OK and will be perfectly special for you.
OK so first off I know I said I was going to write two more blogs with stories on how my confidence had been knocked recently. Thing is I wrote the first one at like 1am and went to bed, everything was so clear in my head and when I woke up I just couldn’t put anything else into words. I’m hoping the two stories will be up at some point but right now I just can’t put what I need to into words without sounding like a moany little bitch, or at least I feel like I sound like a moany little bitch and therefore don’t want to post it till I’ve found a way to write it without sounding that way.
Soooo I has written about something else.
The title of this blog magically kinda is special in itself. Its the theme of the post I was reading when the idea came to me as well as being about posts on places like Tumblr, Twitter and Facebook that strangely help.
Continue reading Diary #3 : Little things….