Category Archives: Diary Posts

Diary #25 : Pain, Depression and no Motivation…

So I said in my Playlist that I’d write a little bit about what is going on so here is what is going on.

Continue reading Diary #25 : Pain, Depression and no Motivation…

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Diary #24 : Branchial Cyst Part I

So I kind of mentioned a few times now that I was having surgery this week to have a Branchial Cyst removed from my neck. As you can tell with me here writing this I survived with nothing major wrong with me.

I’ve decided to write a blog about it and follow ups with photos and recovery stuff because I couldn’t find much about it online at all and its bloody scary at times thinking about it. There won’t be any photos in this one so if you are squirmish you don’t have to worry.

Continue reading Diary #24 : Branchial Cyst Part I

Diary # 23 : A Out of the Blue and Strange update

So I had my pre-op appointment today and some weird things happened to me and I made a big decision in my life knowing full well it is never going to be the same again after next week anyway so I’ll kind of explain as much as I can below and hope you all forgive me for being absolute shit for the next few weeks.

Continue reading Diary # 23 : A Out of the Blue and Strange update

Diary #22 : Lets Talk About Wrestling Shall We?

I probably have in the past gone into depth about what Wrestling means to me but after following Mark Hainsworth on Twitter its made me think deeply once more about not only what wrestling means to me but what the community has done for me too.

Honestly would recommend a follow to Mark on Twitter as he, along with a few others, are trying to build a positive and welcoming wrestling community on Twitter.

@bcafcMark

Continue reading Diary #22 : Lets Talk About Wrestling Shall We?

Diary #21 : Don’t Shoot the Messenger (or the till girl…)

I’ve never kept it a secret that I work in retail. Always have. When people know how bad my depression and anxiety are they tend to be surprised to hear it but I’m also a people person deep DEEP down and I quite like retail. It isn’t always as bad as people make it out to be.

Then again I was raised to be polite to people, to remember that everyone makes mistakes so you should be kind and having depression and anxiety means I’m fully aware that you NEVER EVER can tell how the person you are talking to feels at that moment so you treat them the way YOU want to be treated, you smile and you are just, in general, nice.

When did it stop being so easy to be nice?

Continue reading Diary #21 : Don’t Shoot the Messenger (or the till girl…)

Diary #19 : World Suicide Prevention Day

As someone who struggles with suicide on a daily basis its important to remind everyone that they aren’t alone. I can’t promise anything will get better but sharing how you feel always helps. Please before you do anything get in touch with someone, you really aren’t the only person feeling that way and you can get help.

Samaritans – 116 123 or you can e-mail them at jo@samaritans.org

Childline – ย 0800 1111

Papyrus – 0800 068 41 41 or e-mail them at pat@papyrus-uk.org

Depression doesn’t care about who you are or what you have in your life and it can be the loneliest feeling in your life. You can be surrounded by people, have everything you think you want and be comfortable in life and still suffer worse then words can describe and that is OK. It is more then OK to feel the way you do no matter who you are and never let anyone tell you different.

Everyone feels like there is no hope or no way out, everyone feels alone and sad. When you have depression its difficult to find the first step out of the situation and you can get stuck there, this is where people without depression fail to understand you but its absolutely normal to feel that way, there is nothing selfish about how you feel and reaching out to people who feel the way you do or are there to help really does make you realise you aren’t alone.

Plus you can always get in touch with me if you need someone to talk to. You might feel like you are alone but you really aren’t. Please remember to reach out and never let anyone make you believe how you feel isn’t normal or OK. You are perfectly normal and you deserve to be happy.