So once more I attempted to stream and here is the results!
Unfortunately it wasn’t a happy experience this time out.
Not that it was a bad one.
One thing that people with anxiety have a hard time with is dealing with problems out of their hands. I had a bunch of them today and it just made the entire stream unpleasant for me.
First up just as I was pressing to go Live I suddenly got a load of messages and realised that I had forgot to turn off Facebook, it then took me another 20 minutes to actually get the guts to go Live again. As soon as I did my dog got really agitated about someone at the bottom of the street and I wasn’t sure whether to tell him off or just ignore him, thankfully he didn’t actually start to bark like he usually does. Then it seemed at the same time my neighbour started to shout outside as well as me noticing that the stream had turned off and on a few times.
After noticing that for the first time I become very aware of absolutely everything.
Suddenly I couldn’t really think anymore, I was starting to get panicky and have no idea what to do. I started to over compensate and just started to babble like I always do and suddenly when I realised the internet was going off again I just gave up.
This actually really effected me for the rest of the day.
I kind of just gave up then, all the good things I had been doing over the last few days didn’t matter and all I wanted to do was sit around and eat. It didn’t help that no one came home till late and I started to over think about my obsession which I’m very much trying not to do at the moment because, you know, it isn’t all that healthy at the moment.
That being said I was still live for just about a hour and still got some of the game done.
EDITED 8/10 : I did have a bit about what I planned on doing today, as I said above I kind of gave up so this blog ended up being unpublished and it turns out today I just kind of want to get the anime done. Me and Luc have ear marked so much in the new season we want to at least watch the first episode of and Amanda has some reviews of stuff she wants me to look over so I’ll probably be streaming again tomorrow at about 1pm.
Hopefully I’ll feel better about it tomorrow.