Diary #33.1 : So it begins… (The Prequel blog…)

The last post was about where I was and what I was planning on doing going forward, obviously I haven’t implemented the schedule that I had hoped to get done in the last two weeks but today has been a bit of a break through and I have everything set up.

This isn’t going to be a big essay telling you everything.

Nah, this is part one of maybe two or three blogs where I basically come on here to gain my own kind of courage by forcing my own hand.

So whilst we have the next episode of The Dark Crystal’s review coming out later tonight and I will be getting on with some anime later on right now I’m going to do the biggest, scariest thing I was planning on doing and stream some Bear With Me.

I’ve decided to stream as a bit of a experiment, the very awkward and awful videos will be recorded and put on a new YouTube channel and shared on here in its own series. Thing is I went live about 30 minutes ago, panicked without saying anything and instantly went back offline so I’m mainly writing this blog right now because now I’m saying I’m going live I kind of have to don’t I?

Why a experiment?

I said in the blog maybe badly that I’ve been told to stream to help with my social anxiety. Work to your strengths, I like gaming and I want to learn how to talk to people etc so stream a bit. Many people say they found it hard at first but it really helped them get over the fear of talking because you basically end up spending your time speaking to yourself with the added fear someone might walk in and hear you and want to talk back.

Freaky yeah?

Well yeah it is. As I said I tried just now and froze. Even though I’ve been sat here basically talking to myself all day (I have a dog, he’s a better conversationalist then most) I just couldn’t speak when I pressed record. I know a lot of streamers I watch (both big and small) say they always panic before pressing the button to go live for the same reason.

So now I’ve told you all I’m going to do it so I have to right? Right?

Hopefully.

I’m gonna hopefully at least, in my spare time, be able to play through this game and the new episode that came out last month and have it all on YouTube and share the experience over here and see if it is helping or if I’m a hopeless case. Now just to make that pesky video!

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