Another busy, busy week and no real excuses other then work getting in the way of work. Here is my Playlist…
Heron – Grumble Bee
Weakness forgive me, I tried
Even the best of us cry
Oh won’t you let me be that, why?
So I really am trying. I want to be more like the person I want to be, I want to work towards a goal that I see as impossible but might not be so impossible but I’m gonna try anyway. Whilst this isn’t really what the lyrics are saying the first time I heard them it kinda brought me to that. Its been a hard week trying to get my head around what I have to do.
I sank when I saw you smile
Kinda undertones for something else. The normal something else.
Demons – Puppy
We are that feeling
Deep down inside
We’re right behind you
And you cannot hide
Just like above.
‘Cause your friends don’t care that your world’s turned black and white
Left for dead where all your darkness meets the light
There is so much going on and everyone is trying to be super supportive but they don’t realise just how difficult it all is for me and I’m just killing myself trying to figure out my first few steps. Inside my head is that voice that is constantly telling me I’m going to fail at this whole project and its stopping me from even starting it, no one really knows how unmotivated I’m getting for something I came up with a week ago and was super pumped for.
There’s Nothing Left Part II – Flogging Molly
So spare us the lies, let’s just say our goodbyes
No never to speak, not again
I did what I did for the best
I’ve nothing to give, nothing’s left
My feeling on a friendship this week. They’ll be out of my life sooner then later.
Where Did I Go Wrong – Youth Killed It
I’m confused, and for the first time in my life
I don’t know what to do
I feel used and abused
And I guess it’s something I subconsciously knew
I mean its all one thing this week. I’ve not really done anything with my life and decided to actually just say fuck it and try things that before I’d be too scared to try and yet now I just kinda don’t know what to do. Mix in the fact that I’ve basically begged my manager now to let me move to mornings so that I don’t have to do 7 hour till shifts and hurt myself and I’m just being ignored… Kinda… Makes me really angry and confused on what to do.
Its a cross roads but one I’m gonna come out of better off… I hope.
That’s it for this week, I have a lot more time off this week so hopefully I’ll get my ass in gear for other things. Till then I can say some of the things I am babbling about in the above blog are things that will effect the site… So yeah.