So this week has been pretty hectic and just a little bit sad and scary. I’ve continued to make bad decisions, I cried a lot and I had a operation which has made it hard to hold my head up anymore.
I Need a Hero – Bonnie Tyler
This is purely because my 11 week old niece only ever shuts up when you play this song. Like seriously! My sister doesn’t even listen to Bonnie Tyler so why she’s bonded with this song I don’t know but as I stayed with my sister the majority of the week because of my operation and just to get out of the house a little I’ve had to listen to it constantly all week.
I’ve never hated a song more in my life after just a week.
I’m Still Standing – Elton John
OK so I was a little over dramatic about my operation but to be honest who isn’t?! Operations are terrifying. I can’t help that I was scared so when I woke up and was pretty much normal I felt like celebrating.
Don’t you know I’m still standing better than I ever did
Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid
I’m still standing after all this time
Why I’m actually picking this though is kind of ironic. I mean the moment I was able to stand up and move around I didn’t want to do anything but stand up and move around which was a terrible thing to do because two days down the line and I’m feeling so much pain for these decisions.
I’m still standing yeah yeah yeah
I’m a Survivor – Destiny’s Child
I was going to pick “I Will Survive” by Gloria Gaynor but I’m a idiot and forgot that was what the title was called so typed in “I’m a Survivor” and the Destiny’s Child song came on and you know… Why not pick it?
I’m a survivor (what?)
I’m not gon’ give up (what?)
I’m not gon’ stop (what?)
I’m gon’ work harder (what?)
I’m a survivor (what?)
I’m gonna make it (what?)
I will survive (what?)
Keep on survivin'(what?)
Not that I really did survive of course. It was only a small operation BUT I survived it.
Things Can Only Get Better – D:Ream
So this has a lot of meaning to me in my stupid week. I mean I messed up in a big way last week, realised just how big it was this week and have struggled to figure out what I should do next. I know that there isn’t really anything though I’m happy that I’ve been able to talk it through with a bunch of really nice people on Reddit.
I, sometimes I lose myself in me
I lose track of time
And I can’t see the wood for the trees
You set them alight
Burning bridges as you go
I’m too weak to fight you
I’ve got my personal hell to deal with, then you say
Also right now I feel like I’m going to throw up because my neck feels swollen but it can only get better right?
Things can only get better
Can only get better if we see it through
Again it is a little bit of a cop out but to be absolutely honest I deserve a cop out week this week. I’m in a lot of pain and know that I need to get on with some work but can’t motivate myself. Its been a long week that just doesn’t seem to want to end to be honest. Happily though it is ending and I’m putting my feet up and looking forward to not feeling like I’m going to throw up anymore.
Whilst watching Modern Family because that is my happy place right now.