So I’m gearing up for seven hours of Wrestlemania by watching South Park and can’t really remember much about this week. That sounds awful I know but I’m having a bit of a panic about my operation and stuff and this week has kind of just blurred into one long thing soooo….
For fun I thought seeing I’ve discovered Spotify I’d pick a random playlist and the first 4 songs, though I’ll give myself ONE skip but I have to say what song I’m skipping, and try to fit the song somehow into explaining something I DO remember from my week.
Saviour – Rise Against
At first I thought it would be hard. Like sure I could turn lyrics such as “So tell me now, If this ain’t love then how do we get out?” to mean something about me and my crush. Like I personally say I’m in love, some people agree others tell me you can’t be in love with someone without actually having a certain type of relationship but whatever it is I’d quite like it all to end.
But then the second verse actually stood out…
And the day pressed on like crushing weights
For no man does it ever wait
Like memories of dying days
That deafen us like hurricanes
Bathed in flames we held the brand
Uncurled the fingers in your hand
Pressed into the flesh like sand
Now do you understand?
My operation is just over a week away and the verse just spoke to how I feel right now. I feel like I’m being crushed, I mean whilst its a lot of gibberish it still kind of made sense to me. I mean its scary, every operation has a tiny chance of you getting worse or dying and until it happens and everything goes fine you just panic about it.
I’m not alone on that am I?
I mean I’m only having a cyst taken out of my neck but I’m just terrified I won’t wake up. If I don’t wake up I’ll have never actually told the guy I have a crush on that I love him, I’ll never get to see if anything DOES play out with that whole situation, I’ll never have made it to a Wrestlemania live or just about anything I want to do with my life. Its scary and it feels like its crushing me a little.
Ten Tonne Skeleton – Royal Blood
This was so hard. So, so hard. I nearly skipped it but thought I’d try anyway and kind of maybe did it with a few lines…
But I waited too long
Yeah, I waited too long
THAT again is about my crush I guess. I realised this week that I’ve really waited too long to do anything about it. I mean I might never have had a chance to be with him but there is zero chance now, he knows a part of me and known it for a year and we’ve gotten no closer but if that wasn’t bad enough now I’m going to have a giant assed scar on my neck so there is absolutely no chance he’ll look at me after that.
That was all I have though. Two lines. Two lines…
The Devil’s Bleeding Crown – Volbeat SKIP
Whilst I actually quite like the song… Yeah its lyrics are great but I can’t in anyway single way relate them to anything. I mean its about the Devil. I could try and relate it to customers but to be fair most of our customers are lovely. So yeah it was a skip.
Touch, Peel, and Stand – Days of the New
Again it was hard but again I think I’ve managed it.
Yes, I’ve finally found a reason
I won’t need an excuse
I’ve got this time on my hands
I had a moment thinking about my operation earlier in the week. Like my depression and anxiety has been shitty as hell recently, like really shitty, even with a good month in March I still have serious problems all over the place from my feelings for my crush to just trying to have the life I want. At one point I really wondered if it would be better if I just DIDN’T wake up from the operation.
Then I realised that whether or not I have friends, a real future or anything else I still have somethings like this bloody blog and my Guinea Pigs that need me. I mean that is pretty depressing actually. Oh dear lord kill me now…
The Wolf – Mumford & Sons
Why are so many songs about love? I picked a random playlist with rock music hoping I’d get something interesting but I mean…
Been wondering for days
How you felt me slip your mind
Leave behind your wanton ways
I want to learn to love in kind
‘Cause you were all I ever longed for
Lets face it you know what I was going to say.
So that is it.
I now have half a hour for Wrestlemania. I’m hoping that I will be fine for next Sunday’s Playlist but I have work during the day and going out in the evening. I WILL be reviewing Wrestlemania hopefully unless I fall asleep.