Week 5 Question : What Makes You, You?

I’m tackling yet another question. What makes me, me?

Other people would probably get really philosophical about it and go on about how everyone is the same at the end but like obviously we’re not all the same.

I mean as a species we’re all the same even if our bodies vary and all that but what makes you, you is your personality.

People don’t understand how hard it is for me to communicate with others but that is one of the things that make me, me. I am a extremely paranoid person so even the smallest of conversations is like a stressful TellTale reactions moment. I usually end up saying the wrong thing and getting the negative reactions and it puts me off ever doing it again.

I love wrestling, anime, horror movies, comedies and gaming.

All normal things to like BUT if I didn’t like all of them I wouldn’t be who I am now. I’d be a different Anna. In fact I might be a Anna that likes being called Anna-Marie instead of just Anna. Maybe a Anna that doesn’t get pissed off at being called Anne or Hannah.

As much as I love gaming I’m terrible at it, my defining gaming feature is rage quitting. Not serious rage quitting but there have been a few times that my lack of strength is a blessing as I try to rip my controller into two. I love puzzle games but I’m not very good at solving puzzles anymore.

My favourite colour is purple, but like a deep yet bright purple.

For some reason my type is long awkward looking geeks. I love guys in glasses and my favourite anime type is red haired dads. I don’t know why but there you go.

When I was a kid I wanted to be a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle or a Biker Mice from Mars. Species problems doesn’t really seem to have bothered me as a kid. I never learnt how to drive a motorbike or any ninja shit. I can be a bit like a turtle. I still love TMNTs anyway, I’m one of the biggest fans of the newest movies. I have TMNT action figures all over the shop at the moment.

I get all emotional over a man I’ve managed to fall in love with without really knowing him. The more I get to know him the more I realise he’s a absolute dick… And the more I have feelings for him. I cry about it for no reason all the time. The thought of seeing him makes me nervous, happy, angry and terrified all at the same time.

I love over analyzing the simplest of things.

Psychological horror anime’s are my favs but they tend to have shitty endings which pisses me off. In fact a lot of them do, they act so smart and have such interesting stories but its like the people writing it isn’t too sure how to intelligently end it so they either don’t or they turn it into some kind of lesson about love and the like.

Crash Bandicoot, Sonic the Hedgehog, MediEvil, Rocket Knight, Dynamite Headdy, Gunstar Heroes, Altered Beasts, Alexx the Kidd, Bubsy, Earthworm Jim, Streets of Rage, Mortal Kombat, Mickey Mania, Keio Flying Squadron…. Off the top of my head some of the games I played growing up.

Quantum Conundrum, Kindergarten and Fallout New Vegas are the last three games I’ve played according to Steam (Sonic Mania also on my PS4) and I have ยฃ40 in my Steam Wallet.

I listen to all sorts of music. On a random shuffle…

Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off – Joe Nichols
I Want It That Way – Backstreet Boys
Breakeven – The Script
Stein um Stein – Rammstein
The Kids Aren’t Alright – The Offspring
The Middle – Jimmy Eat World
Danger! High Voltage – Electric Six
Hopeless Wanderer – Mumford & Sons
I’m Gay – Bowling For Soup
Beautiful Stranger – The Devils Carnival Soundtrack

From Country Western to musicals to German heavy metal. It doesn’t really bother me as long as its a good song.

All this makes me me. Of course all the biological shit does too but the hobbies I’ve picked up (I think I can draw, I like painting miniatures, I love writing…) the genres I’ve fallen in love with and everything else make me the person I am.

I have a dry sense of humour probably because since I was young I’ve read the Terry Pratchett Discworld Series, I’m not easy to scare because when I was little I snuck my mum’s copy of Friday the 13th upstairs and watched it and just got used to horror movies before I was even a teenager, something inside me makes me hate the social structure of gender because I don’t feel I fit into the girl stereotype or the boy stereotype so I’m one of those people who question gender NOT BIOLOGICAL SEX because like seriously people where is the rule book that said being born with a vagina meant you had to do all the things guys things girls do? Or when did being born with a penis mean you can’t wear a fucking dress? Not all people get it, they get stuck on the vagina and penis part and not the part where right now we’re celebrating people making lego starring interesting females because before then females weren’t meant to apparently like lego or knowing how interesting the world is but that wasn’t something our vagina’s put on us it was something society did.

All these things make me the bundle of nerves that you see crying before you. There is no philosophy behind it. Nothing. I’m a product of the shitty life I had to lead and where it has led me to.

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2 thoughts on “Week 5 Question : What Makes You, You?”

  1. That was a pleasure to read. I think identifying yourself based on hobbies/tendencies is quite a useful and inspiring approach. Compared to hunting for adjectives to describe your personality anyways.

    1. Thank you! Yeah I think people get lost in trying to fit into boxes or make themselves seem “special” because we’re told that we have to be pretty or smart, athletic or academic, geek or punk. None of that really describes a person though its just boxes society put on the ground to try and make you stuff yourself into. You might be a bookworm but I’m sure if the time came and you were in danger the adrenaline would make you a world class sprinter, or if you are sporty and you needed to study to get a job you might find it harder then the bookworm but you’d still manage to do it. Intelligence, beauty and societies labels apply to everyone, even the ugliest of us will be beautiful to others, even a scientist might not be able to see patterns in human behaviour that historians who have to study the rise and fall of civilizations do.

      What really makes you who you are are the things you do, the things you like, the way you react to the world around you. Put 10 geeks in a room and they will have vastly different hobbies, interest in different genres and opinions on everything. The geek part isn’t the part that defines them its the things that they’ve picked up that are labeled as geeky that make them a person.

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