Here we are again, another week and I’m struggling to name four songs to describe my week of struggling…
To be fair I haven’t really struggled, I’ve been at work most of it and suffering from being miserable.
9 to 5 – Dolly Parton
Its the obvious choice, whilst I don’t work 9-5 I work random hours and mainly from 1pm on wards (though I did start at 10am the other day) it feels like all I’ve done this week is go to work.
Tumble outta bed and I stumble to the kitchen
Pour myself a cup of ambition
Yawn and stretch and try to come to life
I don’t even like coffee so its been more like stumble in the kitchen and just die slowly as I try to keep the dogs from the front door as I leave.
Barely gettin’ by, it’s all takin’ and no givin’
They just use your mind and they never give you credit
It’s enough to drive you crazy if you let it
The struggle is real people, the struggle is real. I did overtime for most of the week, hence the blog has been a bit slow and we didn’t post anything on Wednesday though I didn’t even notice nothing had been posted, because there has been a lot of illness at work this week. Every day nearly I had overtime. Just think of the money…
Coming Undone – Korn
It isn’t that drastic but my depression has been pretty bad this week. I don’t know but its been a pretty miserable week, its been bad weather so waking up to drizzly rain even though I like it hasn’t helped when I’ve just felt bad anyway.
Keep holding on
When my brain’s tickin’ like a bomb
Guess the black thoughts have come Again to get me
Again it isn’t really drastic this week but its just those miserable feelings that keep coming back and upsetting me. It got so bad that I had to ask to be kept off till on Saturday and thankfully my managers took pity on me because they are a lovely bunch.
I’m coming undone
What looks so strong
I’m starting to suffocate
And soon I anticipate
I’m coming undone
It always makes me laugh when people act like I keep my shit together all the time when slowly I’m falling to pieces inside. Like its nice to know that my bad moods don’t effect the people around me and that I can keep making people smile around me when I can’t find a reason to smile myself.
Kings and Queens – Horrible Histories
It might be a strange one but I have spent the majority of the week cheering myself up by watching Horrible Histories and whilst there are a bunch of songs that I love and will name in two seconds I think Kings and Queens is one of my absolute favourites. Its just that kind of show that can cheer you up when you are down. All of the cast of the original 5 seasons are just amazing and I love Rattus to pieces.
Other songs I love are Dick Turpin, The Wives of Henry VII, Charles II King of Bling and the RAF Pilots song.
The reason I decided to put one on is because I have kind of just worked, watched the show and gone to sleep. Its a great show.
Welcome to my Life – Simple Plan
I felt like this when trying to explain depression to someone who was “depressed” because he had to work nights. In other words he was tired and didn’t want to be at work and it was the same as how much I hated my life this week.
I mean the whole song pretty much sums up how I feel and you kind of end up describing things like wanting to be someone else, not belonging, turning something up real loud so you can scream in peace…
Funnily though when you start explaining it to people they tend to just ignore it to continue using depressed as a word to mean a mixture of tired and annoyed at what they have to do.
There is a reason why the person who I had this conversation with is called Mr Grumpy or Mr Sleepy.
That’s my exciting week in song form once more! Its harder then I thought seeing I’ve spent the majority of 2018 being miserable, tired, ill and working. NEXT WEEK hopefully will be the last week of my misery as I then have three weeks off to do exciting things and bring you more exciting and less depressing play lists.
Pretty sure we’ll get to December and I’ll do a look back, IF I manage to keep it up, and it’ll just be one big, long depressing piece of shit.
Send me your playlists for the week. Will be interested to hear how your week has gone.