Eurovision 2016

Another year and another blog. The ONLY blog on this site you can trust to be out in time and done properly.

Europe (plus some friends) go to war.

Eurovision time!

Well the opening segment was something. I’m not sure it worked, I couldn’t make out a single flag as it flashed up on the stage and… Models. I think I preferred last years, I still remember it well.

The hosts were great though from the very start.

Its when they say Welcome to Eurovision and everyone cheers that I get excited!!!!!

What’s The Pressure
Laura Tesoro

Thought the song was really catchy. A nice and cheerful song to start the night off and had some strange charm to it that I really enjoyed.

The biggest problem I had was the dancing. It was just scary bad that it distracted me from the song.

To be honest though knowing what we got last year its nice to start with something other then one more power ballad. So Belgium gets a thumbs up from me!

Czech Republic
I Stand
Gabriela Guncikova

The first of the power ballads and the lady didn’t have the lungs for her song or any actual lyrics. In fact she just stood there and told us that she was standing.

Well done Czech Republic, you know what you are doing.

It was bland and extremely boring. I don’t really like the Power Ballads anyway but this one was just nothing special. The fact that there was a lack of actual lyrics too made it worse. The 100th time she told me she was standing I left the room to get a drink!

The Netherlands
Slow Down
Douwe Bob

The first time that the stage interested me. It just looked beautiful and I loved Netherlands voice!

Big problem was the song felt like it had been cut up. There was a lot of stopping and starting and that made it hard to listen to. Then there was the 10 second stop which was just confusing, so normal Eurovision thing.

I really liked it though. Honestly I really liked it. It was different and nice to hear at Eurovision.


It was like the mix of the two things I hated from Belgium and Czech Republic all rolled into one. Samra couldn’t sing and the backing dancers were just scary and I couldn’t wait for them to leave.

It will take a miracle for her to win this one!

There just was absolutely nothing about it that was good and it was actually a miracle I got through it without turning my TV off.


Now that wasΒ  great song. It was what the Czech Republic and Azerbaijan probably thought they were doing but what they didn’t. He belted out that song. I loved the backing dancers and strange drummer though I guess they were just as strange as all the others.

Plus Freddie was pretty.

Yeah I’m going there. Points for the pretty boy.

Seriously though it just was my favourite so far! Good placement for him though because later in the night I’d probably be fed up of listening to very similar songs and probably wouldn’t enjoy it.

No Degree of Separation
Francesca Michielin

I loved the performance but she didn’t sound like she was singing to the music. OH said that it probably would sound better if she sang in a different language, then she started to sing in English and it was just as bad.

It grew on me a little bit though so I wouldn’t mind listening to it again, it was mainly the beginning that put me off and after that she struggled to keep my interest.

Poor Italy though.

Made of Stars
Hovi Star

Now this was a really beautiful song.

The people in the hoop really didn’t need to be there but I really liked it and it was a much better ballad then the two girls earlier. Though I did have problems understanding him sometimes as he seemed to mumble the lyrics at times. I think I’d really love to hear that recorded.

If Love was a CrimePoli Genova

Well of everything so far this was pretty much the most normal song. The others were just terrible ballads but this is like all the other dross in the charts therefore it doesn’t surprise me Graham said it was a favourite.

Someone needs to teach these people how to dance. The dancing has been awful all night so far!Β  It didn’t get better when her costume then lit up, it just made it look worse and then suddenly there were loads of people to dance really badly.

If I were Sorry

I hope Frans was sorry because I deserve a apology for having to listen to his song. It was horrible, he and his music seemed to be performing two different songs, people seemed to cheer the stage more then him and he was the hometown hero for the night!

He didn’t even shine when he was trying to get the crowd behind him.

Well he did promise a vow of Silence so lets hope he goes ahead with it now.


I loved the song, I loved the set but what the hell was she wearing!? She really needed someone to take her to one side and tell her that the clothes she was wearing did NOT fit the song.

The song itself was brilliant though and one of the best of the night which didn’t surprise me because Germany always have a great song.

J’ai Cherche

Now this automatically went into my fav spot. Not only did I just love the song in general but his voice was so lovely. It didn’t matter that he sang half in French and half in English I just didn’t want him to stop singing.

Plus there was no weird dancing, strange outfits or anything else.

I didn’t want him to stop.

Colour of Your Life
Michal Szpak

I honestly didn’t expect what we got!

The style wasΒ  little weird and I did not enjoy either his trousers which were too short, his lack of socks or the close ups on his face where he looked like he was about to punch through the camera but the song. Boy was the song great.

It was just a great song. Really liked it.

Sound of Silence
Dami Im

She should join Sweden in his vow of silence and learn that silence actually means being quiet because it was terrible.

I like Australia and the fact they are now officially part of Europe but that was just horrible.

Alter Ego
Minus One

Well it was something different and I have to give them that!

It sounded way too much like The Killers “Somebody Told Me” for my liking but it was a brave decision to enter a band singing something other then a ballad or cheesy pop song. I honestly hope they do well purely so we’d get some more like it.

Goodbye (Shelter)
Sanja Vucic ZAA

It bored the hell out of me. The whole performance was just so bland and already the ballad fatigue had set in.

Plus there was a strange dancer that kept showing up and doing things that didn’t seem to connect to the rest of the performance and disappear again and ended the whole thing stood at the side in the shadows. It was really.. weird.

Its just weird.

I’ve Been Waiting for This Night
Donny Montell

See above just minus the backing dancers.

It was just terrible. And boring. Plus sounded like just about every other ballad so far tonight. In fact if one of the ballads win then I think there should be a five or six way tie!

Nina Kralijc

Well props to Croatia for the outfit. It was beautiful and confusing all at the same time.

Another ballad and this time I had no idea what she was actually trying to sing about. It was a bit of a let down to be honest.

It held my attention longer purely because of the dress.

You are the only one
Sergey Lazarev

The actual performance both annoyed and wowed me but who cares because his voice was great and the song was perfect. Honestly it was just a lovely song and really deserved to be the favourite.

Hope he does well because they can be treated crap purely for coming from a country like Russia.

Say Yay!

I was hoping for something fun but it wasn’t. It was a really boring song. It was like a dance thing and just didn’t work.

It was worse BECAUSE I thought it was going to be a cheerful song and it wasn’t. Then again I can’t remember if I’ve ever liked any of Spain’s songs!


Really liked the song but not sure why because it was just the same as most of the other songs tonight! I think I just liked his voice.

Nothing interesting was even happening on stage.

I really wish someone would throw his heart away and he’d join the vow of silence going around. I sound grumpy by now its purely because it really sounds like the same song just rolling on and on and on….


Whilst I think it was a nice song there was just something so miserable about it that had me put my head in my hands and wish it was over.

I think I would have liked it a lot if it had been on earlier. As it is I’m fed up of ballads.

Walk on Water
Ira Losco

More crazy backing dancers just randomly showing up and wiggling around for no reason. Sometimes I worry for their sanity. In fact this guy just seemed to have some sort of fit.

Again another song I probably would have liked if it hadn’t been for about 100 of the same thing before it.

(Ira… You can not walk on water unless your waters have broken I guess.)

Midnight Gold
Nika Kocharov and Young Georgian Lolitaz

I wish the guy wouldn’t speak and there was way too much going on for me to sit and watch the actual TV but I liked the music. It sounded like something I’d love but the guys voice was just so boring that I wanted him to shut up.

Plus it gave me a headache.

Loin d’ici

A really pretty song with a really pretty performance. Enjoyed it a lot and if any of the ballads win I hope its her! It was like watching a princess singing in a Disney film.

Unfortunately we also have the problem that people prefer the big power ballads more. Sad.

But it was really good.

United Kingdom
You’re Not Alone
Joe and Jake

Right. Its so wonderful? Best we’ve had for ages? I truly loved last years song and this was just a boring and bland piece of crap.

Of course we should be proud they are so young..

So were half the other contestants!

So boring. Even more boring then other boring ones.

Iveta Mukuchyan

I didn’t get it.



So yes. My favourite was probably Hungary or France but it was hard because so many of them was just terrible.

WAY too many ballads again. Sometimes you just want to scream. I really do miss the fun ones. Why have there been a lack of sweet, funny or weird acts the last two years? More and more power ballads clogging up the night and making it hard going.

Maybe that is why I liked some of the less normal acts like Netherlands, Cyprus and Germany.


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