365 Challenge : VIP

Who’s the most important person in your life – and how would your day-to-day existence be different without them?

I don’t like people.

I don’t even like myself so I’m not sure how I’d decide on someone being the most important person in my life.

There is my family but I don’t think you can count them because… Well… They are family. Out of my family though it would only be my niece, mum and baby sister.

Friends? Well I have the guys on this blog and Fiona plus a bunch of guys I used to know real well because we were all F1 fans but I wouldn’t really say they were important enough to mark them out above everyone else or each other.

Hell I’d love to be big headed enough to say I am the most important person in my life but sometimes I wish I’d piss the hell off and leave me to enjoy life.

Thing is I always tend to be let down by people a lot. I got close to someone once and they stole money from me, tried to get close to someone recently and they just lied to me and spent most of the time being dramatic about the smallest of things. Another guy that I tried to befriend ended up telling me I should kill myself and not fight my depression and yet another one hates my guts because I dare not to find him attractive and want to sleep with him. When I left school none of my “friends” tried to keep in touch with me…

I guess I’m just super annoying.

The people who have kept in touch with me in my life don’t have to see me very often so have no need to want me dead.

You know what… This blog was meant to talk about the most important person in my life and all it has made me realise is that I must be the most unlikeable person in the world. Like honestly I can’t keep any kind of relationship at all. The more people let me down the more nervous I get talking to people and the more I try to keep things at arms length and then get depressed about it all at the same time.

Its why I hate people.

IF all these very unimportant people (or in other words everyone) pissed off and left my life would be easier I guess. I might grow to love myself because I wouldn’t feel inadequate because just about everyone and everything has more worth then myself. But as all the population of Earth ain’t going away any time soon I don’t think I can really test that theory!

 

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